Signs of the Apocalypse

NOTE: So, I am hoping that this will be a recurring column, as I tend to notice these sorts of things all the time. However, given that the idiocy around us tends to be random, so shall be these entries.

I present to you proof positive that people are stupid.

This sign was found on a gas pump at my local station. When I saw it, I read it 3 times, then proceeded to laugh so hard the lady on the other side of the pump peered around the side to see if I was ok. When I pointed out the sign, she didn't get it. Which explains why the sign is still there.

Now, as a CYM I naturally lean towards smart-ass antagonism whenever possible. I thought about asking the pump-jockey behind the counter if it was ok to continue filling my tank. After all, I can honestly say that I have never even thought about improving my cars fuel container. In my last car, I had to replace the little plastic tie that attaches the gas cap to the car, but that was more maintenance than improvement.

Do I need to go out and buy my gas tank some bling? If so, do they still sell the kids craft kits that turn into date-rape drugs when swallowed? I feel like I need to anesthetize myself a little when I see things like this.

Would a simple sticker suffice? I still have a Nintendo Power Club sticker from my youth that I have been itching to bust out on something.

Now I know how this happened. It was clearly like one of those cell-phone commercials where the person on the one end says one thing, and it gets a little garbled on the other end, resulting in an amusing game of operator.

"You want it to say what?"

"No problem, I got it."

"No, I'm sure, I got it."

He didn't get it.

In the end, I decided to simply mention the error to the guy. I snapped this pic with my handy dandy cell cam and trotted gleefully into the store (yes, CYM is still capable of glee). I grabbed a Diet Mtn. Dew (I am watching my figure) and waited in line for a few seconds till it was my turn. I showed the guy the pic and told him they might want to change the sign since it was misspelled and had a crazy unintentional meaning. He didn't get it. I pointed it out very specifically, and he still didn't get it.

Now I am guessing here, but I don't think English is his first language. It may not even be his second. I don't fault him too much for not getting it, English is, after all, a needlessly complex language filled with silly irregular conjugations and insane and arcane grammar rules. I simply said that he should change the sign for accuracy and I jotted down the proper reading.

That was 3 months ago. I specifically choose that pump every time it's available (I fill up once/week) and the sign remains the same.

I live in constant fear that I will be arrested because I haven't upgraded my gas tank to the all-chrome model.

Apocalypse I tell you.

-Londo

xxx